I knew when Richard became a truck driver that it was going to be difficult without him. I knew when I started my new job that it would be challenging. I knew I would have a hard time sending my kids to daycare, but I never knew that all the things combined were actually going to be the biggest struggle of my life.
In just a matter of months I have gone from an organized, happy, satisfied, at-home Mom who had everything she needed to a stressed, overtired, emotional basketcase, single Mom. I get an hour and a half with my kids every day and it has taken a toll on all of us. I talk to my husband a few times a day. We sometimes even call each other just to hear one another breathe. There may be nothing to say but somehow it doesn't make us feel so alone if we know the other is on the line.
Richard and I have recently decided to give up many of our materialistic things such as our boat and car...possibly our home. Maybe without struggling to keep these things in our possession we can get back what matters most...our family together. Richard needs to come home.
Amidst all the yuckiness there have been some good times. The good times have been really good. The times that Richard is home we are inseparable. Our relationship is rock solid and we feel like teenagers again cuddling on the couch, holding hands, giggling and we partake in quite a lot of make-out sessions. Hee Hee.
Seth won't let Dad out of his sight and wants to play everything under the sun. Maybe a little golf, football, video games or working outside in the garage. Seth sneaks in several squeezes and "I Love You Dad"s. He usually has a whole stack of "presents" for Dad by the time he comes home and he stands by with pride, rolling his tongue in his cheek while Dad sifts through all the homemade riches his adoring son has given him.
Richard has missed out on a lot of Sami so when she runs to him, smiling, that pretty much just does him in. She snuggles with him a lot on the couch and she gets away with her sassy spurts while he is here. She shows him all her new tricks she has learned in his absence...good and bad.
Then in a few short days it is time to say goodbye again for another month. I can almost understand now how a wife must feel when she kisses her soldier husband goodbye before he leaves on a mission. It's emotional and hard to let go.
The year 2008 will be chalked up as the "rough" year for us. Lots of ups and downs.2009 is going to be better for us. Hope runs through my veins. My family is healthy and we are still together even though miles apart. 2009 is going to be an extraordinary year. I am ready to come out of this big blur with clarity, a smile on my face and my family in tow.
