A New Year of Hope

I can honestly say that the past few months have pretty much been a blur. My emotions can be summed up in one photo:



I knew when Richard became a truck driver that it was going to be difficult without him. I knew when I started my new job that it would be challenging. I knew I would have a hard time sending my kids to daycare, but I never knew that all the things combined were actually going to be the biggest struggle of my life.

In just a matter of months I have gone from an organized, happy, satisfied, at-home Mom who had everything she needed to a stressed, overtired, emotional basketcase, single Mom. I get an hour and a half with my kids every day and it has taken a toll on all of us. I talk to my husband a few times a day. We sometimes even call each other just to hear one another breathe. There may be nothing to say but somehow it doesn't make us feel so alone if we know the other is on the line.

Richard and I have recently decided to give up many of our materialistic things such as our boat and car...possibly our home. Maybe without struggling to keep these things in our possession we can get back what matters most...our family together. Richard needs to come home.

Amidst all the yuckiness there have been some good times. The good times have been really good. The times that Richard is home we are inseparable. Our relationship is rock solid and we feel like teenagers again cuddling on the couch, holding hands, giggling and we partake in quite a lot of make-out sessions. Hee Hee.

Seth won't let Dad out of his sight and wants to play everything under the sun. Maybe a little golf, football, video games or working outside in the garage. Seth sneaks in several squeezes and "I Love You Dad"s. He usually has a whole stack of "presents" for Dad by the time he comes home and he stands by with pride, rolling his tongue in his cheek while Dad sifts through all the homemade riches his adoring son has given him.

Richard has missed out on a lot of Sami so when she runs to him, smiling, that pretty much just does him in. She snuggles with him a lot on the couch and she gets away with her sassy spurts while he is here. She shows him all her new tricks she has learned in his absence...good and bad.

Then in a few short days it is time to say goodbye again for another month. I can almost understand now how a wife must feel when she kisses her soldier husband goodbye before he leaves on a mission. It's emotional and hard to let go.

The year 2008 will be chalked up as the "rough" year for us. Lots of ups and downs.2009 is going to be better for us. Hope runs through my veins. My family is healthy and we are still together even though miles apart. 2009 is going to be an extraordinary year. I am ready to come out of this big blur with clarity, a smile on my face and my family in tow.

Much to be thankful for

As most of you know, Richard and I have really fallen on hard times this year. Richard has been our family's sole provider for the last few years working as a skilled carpenter. Last spring, he and his partner (I have a few other names for him that aren't suitable for family blogging) lost their business building custom staircases due to lack of work. He was then employed by the brother of his partner, building custom staircases as well for a large Northwestern based company. He was laid off a few short months following. Not knowing what to do to make fast money, Richard decided to get his CDL to become a long-haul truck driver. Neither one of us were crazy about the idea but we really didn't have any options considering his skills were all in the construction business. We aren't just talking about random skills here either. My husband is brilliant when it comes to hard working, labor-intensive, building, constructing, work with your hands jobs. He has really busted his butt for years to provide for our family and lost a few limbs (2 fingers) to prove it.

Anyway, I could brag about my husband for days so back to the story.

So Richard joined a local trucking company to earn his CDL in a few short weeks and get on the road. We knew at that time that trucking wasn't going to make ends meet for us so I immediately began searching for work. I can tell you all that the past 4 months has been more excruciating than I could have imagined. I have applied for every job known to man. Most of the jobs I was over-qualified for but I still wasn't even getting calls for interviews. Even when I went for interviews, I wasn't getting the job. I have never had such a hard time finding work. In the meantime, I have reluctanctly become a single Mom since Richard only comes home once a month for a few short days. My poor husband is stuck out their driving a stupid truck, alone and depressed. He doesn't get to play with his son or watch his little girl grow up. I have made a full-time job at home by talking with creditors and searching for jobs only I'm not getting paid for it. I have been so discouraged and have tapped out all resources in order for us to keep our home. I have been been stretched thin emotionally, physically and financially...until TODAY! I received the phone call from an angel today that granted me a JOB! Out of the 300 jobs I am sure I applied for, I got the job that was the best pay. When I heard the magic words over the phone I immediately got a huge lump in my throat and tried to hold back the tears.

I will be joining the workforce once again next Monday and it is so bittersweet. We will be able to keep our home and put food on the table but I will be leaving my 18 month old in the care of someone else. I will lose precious time with my son and my husband will still not be home. The past four months have been hard and there are more hard times to come but I still have what matters to me most and that is the love and support of my family. I have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving but what I am most thankful for is the loved ones that surround me.

I wish all of you and your families the best of health and happiness in our nations time of crisis. Hold on to your jobs, hold on to your money and hold on to your loved ones because your life can change at any moment and leave you breathless. Love to you all and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

The Kids Have Disco Fever

When I saw Tricia's blog with the JibJab of her kids I couldn't stop laughing so I just HAD to make one of Seth and Sami. If you need a reason to laugh, here it is. FYI, don't forget to pause the music on my site before playing the video to get the full effect.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Sethers Turns 7

I can't believe my boy has turned 7 years old! Where has the time gone? My Sethers - I can't even describe in words what a wonderful tender-heart he is and how lucky I feel to be his Mom. He is no longer physically a baby anymore but he will always be MY baby boy in my heart.

He was such a sick baby having 2 surgeries by the time he was a year and a half old. From the time he was born, Seth was NOT a sleeper. He didn't sleep in his own bed until he was three and up until that time he became a professional snuggler. Seth is a great snuggle-bug to this day and every morning he jumps at any opportunity to come and snuggle in bed with me just to talk, rub his cold feet on me and tell me how much he loves me. Lately I have clenched my teeth wondering if at his age if it is inappropriate for him to be snuggling with ANY adult but I am so afraid it will stunt his loving and warm personality.

It makes my chin quiver to look back at his short life so far and realize that there are so many more wonderful memories and birthdays to come. Soon enough my sweet boy won't run to me anymore for hugs and kisses, leaving me to beg for the once affectionate, innocence of the past. Happy Birthday Sethers! I love you for eternity!

A Devilish, Wizardry Night

What a fantastic Halloween! It seemed like everything was just right. Richard was home off the road, Seth didn't have school so we didn't have to rush, the weather was the warmest I can ever remember it being and the kids fantastically dressed for the occasion.

Seth was a great wizard! Years ago my Mom had confiscated these great orange sheets from my grandparents home when they moved. She thought for sure that some day one of us kids would use them for a great Halloween costume. This year was the time. Thank goodness for my Mom and her sewing capabilities. I can't imagine actually putting these satin orange sheets on any kind of bed and be content but I can asure you that they made a perfect wizard costume for Sethers. Richard just happened to have a stick in the garage that he painted white to resemble a wizard staff. Seth of course thought he was magical and we all agreed.

Sami was a sweet devil! Although it's an oxymoron she truly was a SWEET DEVIL! Seth's hand-me-down devil costume I made for him his first trick-or-treating year.
She was so happy too! Although she wasn't particularly in the Halloween spirit until she went to the first door, holding her brothers hand and got that treat put in her pumpkin. I don't think she had any clue that it was actually candy being dumped in there, I think she just loved the whole process of walking to the houses clutching her pumpkin and having people put stuff in it.

I thought maybe we would get one house, if that, out of Sami for her first year but I was pleasantly surprised when she went to every single one. She toddled her way from door to door looking like the spitting image of E.T.
It was a great Halloween night with the cousins and my parents to join us. We came home with two delighted children with smiles on their faces and parents basking in their joyful spirits.

I've Been Tagged too!

Well usually I do this by e-mail but I have to admit it is kinda fun to do on my blog sight. I have to answer two different tags in one blog so here I go!

The first is to open "My Pictures" and post the picture that is the 4th picture in the 4th file. Of course, not even this can be straight forward for me. My 4th file just so happens to have only two pictures in it. With that, I am going to post both.



Both of my pictures were taken on July 23rd, 2007 at my parent's cabin in Stanley. This picture is of course Sami when she was almost 3 months old.



This is Seth sitting with Cecil the dinosaur. For years, Cecil has been a grand toy for all the kids and grandkids that have visited my parents.

My second tag is to name 6 things that are quirky about me. Let me tell you, this was not easy. I actually had to think on it overnight because I was confusing quirky with pet peeves. All I ask is please...don't judge!

1. I cannot share milk. Don't ever ask me if I want to try your cereal because it won't happen. If I pour myself a tall glass of milk, don't expect me to share. I am more than willing to share just about anything else but there is something about the consistency of milk that I cannot bare to have touched someone else's mouth and then touch mine. In fact, it is just recently I have been able to drink milk out of a clear glass. For years I have only been able to drink milk out of an opaque glass because it grossed me out to see the thick, white film slide back down the sides of the glass into my drink. I know it's crazy!

2. I am extremely superstitious. Most of you know this about me. To this day I walk down the sidewalk making a conscious effort to not step on a crack. I knock on wood every time something remotely negative comes out of my mouth. I can't stand for people to be pessimistic because all you are doing is jinxing us all. Some of you may have noticed too that I have not returned e-mails back that threaten I will have a lifetime of bad luck. Somehow I can get a general idea of how the e-mail will go in the first sentence. If it looks like it's going to turn out in the wrong for me, I automatically erase it before reading so I'm not stuck forwarding the stinking e-mail to 10 people to avoid getting struck by lightning.

3. Don't touch my toes! It's as simple as that. I can touch my own toes but no one else can. I freak out for some reason.

4. I have to clean my whole kitchen before I cook. If I have dirty dishes or the counters aren't clean, I feel the need to clean it all up before starting a meal.

5. In order for me to get sleep I need to be in a cold room. I have to have some kind of covers on me all the way to my chin. I can't fall asleep with no covers and no sheet on me even if it is hot. Therefore, a nice cold room in the 50's makes for a good night sleep (that's if Chloe isn't snoring or begging to go outside, Sami isn't crying or Seth isn't having a nightmare).

6. Last but not least, since I was pregnant with Seth there has been this thing with brushing teeth. I somehow acquired a hyper-active gag reflex when brushing my teeth. It got so bad I was throwing up every time I brushed my teeth, which defeats the whole purpose, right? So then I would have to brush all over again and it became this vicious cycle. Since then, the teeth brushing thing has never gone away so I discovered it is a lot easier to brush in the shower where I can gag all I want without sticking my head in the sink. When I became pregnant with Sami a whole new brushing teeth problem came into play. I couldn't watch, listen or be in the same room as anyone else brushing their teeth. I would once again start gagging uncontrollably, running in the opposite direction of the perpetrator, covering my mouth hoping not to throw up. I have a little more control these days,at least with the throwing up part, but it can still get ugly.

So there you have it! No, I am not crazy and yes I am good person. Most people might think I have a problem with OCD but I can very confidently tell you all that I know some people with OCD and I am DEFINITELY not one of them!

So now I tag...oh crap, I only know 3 bloggers! Okay, I tag Terrell Kamahi, Scott & Amber Varvel and anyone else who would like to join. If you don't have a blog you can e-mail them to me. I am anxious to hear from you all!